So, I have been feeling pretty confident about where I was with all the wedding planning. I know that pretty much all the big decisions have been taken care of and it only left me with some small details. All the good things were happening too. My dress came in and it fits. I made an appointment with a seamstress for some small alterations. We chose a design for our wedding cupcakes and sent that in to the baker too. No reason not to feel good.
Then, one night I laid in bed trying to sleep as I had work the next morning. However, sleep just wasn't coming. My mind was spinning non-stop with the "little details." All of the sudden, all those tiny things seemed insurmountable. I slept like crap that night.
The next day I made a list of all the little things that needed to get done before the wedding. They were things like making the wedding program and favor tags. Small purchases like ivy garland and water bottle labels needed to be made. The list made me feel a lot better because I knew nothing would be forgotten in the mix. Plus, I like to cross things off of a to-do list. It makes me feel productive. ;-)
The real reason I'm writing this blog is because of what else happened on the night of little sleep, though. Little sleep does not equal no sleep and the sleep I did get was filled with a broken, never-ending dream about the wedding that I still haven't forgotten.
Now, I should start by saying that I have been having wedding dreams throughout this whole planning process. They always start with it being the day of the wedding and I'm completely unprepared. It's as if I didn't even realize that it was the big day until it was already here and it is just a big surprise to me. In the dream the things that are finished are the things that I really have finished in real life. For example, in the first few dreams I wouldn't even have anything to wear. After I bought my dress I could wear it in my dreams but I would be missing something else like a minister or having my hair and makeup done. The dreams have been pretty consistent over the last 13 months. Usually I don't mind it but, occasionally, they really stress me out. The one I had on the night before the list was the worst one yet. Since I have most of the planning done it wasn't really about what was missing or not ready. It was just a huge mess where everything went wrong. It started with me waking up on my wedding day with Matt. We were discussing what day it was and I didn't believe that it was really the 11th. We were trying to look on a cell phone to get the date but it kept turning off before we could see it. When I finally realized it was here, I was upset because we hadn't had a rehearsal the night before. Matt told me that we had it but I didn't remember it because I got too drunk! I realized that I must have drank so much that I completely blacked out the entire rehearsal and dinner. I was extremely upset because nothing was going right. I didn't want to wake up with Matt the morning of our wedding, I definitely didn't want to completely forget the rehearsal, and I had also overslept and was running behind for everything. There was also a short time when Matt told me that he didn't want to marry me anymore but he got over it pretty quickly. So, for awhile my dream consisted of running around trying to get things done with my bridesmaids and various other people. There was one time when we were all getting into a van to go somewhere and Matt got in next to me wearing my crinoline underskirt... Don't know about that! When I got back to the Lodge I knew I still needed to get my hair and makeup done because I had missed my appointment due to oversleeping. I was lucky that the girls I have hired had chosen to come to the lodge to help us get ready. All of the bridesmaids had finished getting ready and were just waiting on me. I met the woman who was going to do my hair but she wasn't the person I have hired. I complained and she told me that the original girl was having a baby this weekend (she's not pregnant in real life as far as I know). So, the new girl began doing my hair but she was taking her sweet time and getting very distracted. I yelled at her to hurry up so my friend, Nicole Kostka, came over to help. Nicole was spraying my hair with aerosol hairspray and bits of it landed all over my wedding dress. As Nicole helped, the other stylist dropped her arm that was holding the curling iron. When she did that the iron hit me in the leg and burned me. I looked at my dress and it began turning burnt brown everywhere that hairspray had touched. It was as if the heat from the curling iron heated through my entire dress and the material began burning the flammable hairspray. I freaked and ran to a mirror. Then I noticed that I wasn't even wearing my own dress. It was some awful blue and white thing that I would never had chosen. I knew there was nothing that I could do at this point to fix it and I was out of luck. Finally, I woke up!
Those of you who have heard my dream stories before know that they're always crazy and super detailed. This one was obviously no exception. I had another dream last night too. It wasn't even half as extreme as the first one but I still couldn't get my hair and makeup done. This time it was everyone else's fault. I guess I was just so busy attending to the wedding details and making sure that everyone else was ready to go that I didn't even have any time to get ready myself. The only part I remember vividly is looking in a mirror and seeing my makeup-less face and straight, stringy-looking hair! I was really sad knowing that this is what I would look like on my wedding day.
So, here's my theory. I'm getting all the bad stuff out now so it doesn't really happen on the wedding day. Not that I think my wedding dress is going to burn up or that I'll get wasted at the rehearsal dinner if I don't dream about it. I just want everything to be as perfect as possible so my mind is creating all the situations of things that can go wrong so I can be prepared and make sure they don't happen. It's either that or just the fact that I always have insane dreams especially when I'm at all stressed or overwhelmed. The bottom line is that I know everything is going to be fine. I'm so looking forward to the Big Day and I can't wait for it to finally
Then, one night I laid in bed trying to sleep as I had work the next morning. However, sleep just wasn't coming. My mind was spinning non-stop with the "little details." All of the sudden, all those tiny things seemed insurmountable. I slept like crap that night.
The next day I made a list of all the little things that needed to get done before the wedding. They were things like making the wedding program and favor tags. Small purchases like ivy garland and water bottle labels needed to be made. The list made me feel a lot better because I knew nothing would be forgotten in the mix. Plus, I like to cross things off of a to-do list. It makes me feel productive. ;-)
The real reason I'm writing this blog is because of what else happened on the night of little sleep, though. Little sleep does not equal no sleep and the sleep I did get was filled with a broken, never-ending dream about the wedding that I still haven't forgotten.
Now, I should start by saying that I have been having wedding dreams throughout this whole planning process. They always start with it being the day of the wedding and I'm completely unprepared. It's as if I didn't even realize that it was the big day until it was already here and it is just a big surprise to me. In the dream the things that are finished are the things that I really have finished in real life. For example, in the first few dreams I wouldn't even have anything to wear. After I bought my dress I could wear it in my dreams but I would be missing something else like a minister or having my hair and makeup done. The dreams have been pretty consistent over the last 13 months. Usually I don't mind it but, occasionally, they really stress me out. The one I had on the night before the list was the worst one yet. Since I have most of the planning done it wasn't really about what was missing or not ready. It was just a huge mess where everything went wrong. It started with me waking up on my wedding day with Matt. We were discussing what day it was and I didn't believe that it was really the 11th. We were trying to look on a cell phone to get the date but it kept turning off before we could see it. When I finally realized it was here, I was upset because we hadn't had a rehearsal the night before. Matt told me that we had it but I didn't remember it because I got too drunk! I realized that I must have drank so much that I completely blacked out the entire rehearsal and dinner. I was extremely upset because nothing was going right. I didn't want to wake up with Matt the morning of our wedding, I definitely didn't want to completely forget the rehearsal, and I had also overslept and was running behind for everything. There was also a short time when Matt told me that he didn't want to marry me anymore but he got over it pretty quickly. So, for awhile my dream consisted of running around trying to get things done with my bridesmaids and various other people. There was one time when we were all getting into a van to go somewhere and Matt got in next to me wearing my crinoline underskirt... Don't know about that! When I got back to the Lodge I knew I still needed to get my hair and makeup done because I had missed my appointment due to oversleeping. I was lucky that the girls I have hired had chosen to come to the lodge to help us get ready. All of the bridesmaids had finished getting ready and were just waiting on me. I met the woman who was going to do my hair but she wasn't the person I have hired. I complained and she told me that the original girl was having a baby this weekend (she's not pregnant in real life as far as I know). So, the new girl began doing my hair but she was taking her sweet time and getting very distracted. I yelled at her to hurry up so my friend, Nicole Kostka, came over to help. Nicole was spraying my hair with aerosol hairspray and bits of it landed all over my wedding dress. As Nicole helped, the other stylist dropped her arm that was holding the curling iron. When she did that the iron hit me in the leg and burned me. I looked at my dress and it began turning burnt brown everywhere that hairspray had touched. It was as if the heat from the curling iron heated through my entire dress and the material began burning the flammable hairspray. I freaked and ran to a mirror. Then I noticed that I wasn't even wearing my own dress. It was some awful blue and white thing that I would never had chosen. I knew there was nothing that I could do at this point to fix it and I was out of luck. Finally, I woke up!
Those of you who have heard my dream stories before know that they're always crazy and super detailed. This one was obviously no exception. I had another dream last night too. It wasn't even half as extreme as the first one but I still couldn't get my hair and makeup done. This time it was everyone else's fault. I guess I was just so busy attending to the wedding details and making sure that everyone else was ready to go that I didn't even have any time to get ready myself. The only part I remember vividly is looking in a mirror and seeing my makeup-less face and straight, stringy-looking hair! I was really sad knowing that this is what I would look like on my wedding day.
So, here's my theory. I'm getting all the bad stuff out now so it doesn't really happen on the wedding day. Not that I think my wedding dress is going to burn up or that I'll get wasted at the rehearsal dinner if I don't dream about it. I just want everything to be as perfect as possible so my mind is creating all the situations of things that can go wrong so I can be prepared and make sure they don't happen. It's either that or just the fact that I always have insane dreams especially when I'm at all stressed or overwhelmed. The bottom line is that I know everything is going to be fine. I'm so looking forward to the Big Day and I can't wait for it to finally